Hyper · Didlee · dee!

Man I haven't been on here in ages! hahaha i was just reading through some of my older entries and i'm glad to say im well more or less getting over that now (I still have my moments of course.. and more than i might like but less than i used to so all good) so for anyone on here who still happens to read this (or anyone whos just incredibly bored right now) (and if no one reads this.. who cares lol.. i don't! :P) so yeah.. i'm at middlesex university studying english literature and media and cultural studies, still living at home unfortunately :( (i'm still on my xmas hols muahahaha start back next week though) still as obsessed with kelly clarkson as ever :P ooh yeah and i started playing guitar haha (Well, learning anyway... slowly but surely.. but its coming lol) lol how sad is it that like after like.. almost a year my life really hasnt changed that much! i don't think i have any thing else to say! (yep.. i'm still boring!)

oh yeah and i'm eating cold chinese food at 1am... watching one tree hill (and about to watch some kelly documentary interview thing) does it get any better.... well quite frankly.. i bloody well hope so!!!

peace out :P
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How come every time i'm happy...like actually HAPPY.... someone has to come along and shatter it for me? according to my family i'm not allowed to be happy!
the past few months had been kinda good... id stopped doing what i had been doing and i found something else... and the inspriation for this other thing was making me really happy for the first time since.. well since a certain friend who seems to have forgotten me and so shall remain nameless. but anyway whoever i tell about this new thing seem to think im pathetic and all laugh at me and make jokes... to my face! does it really matter what makes me happy as long as it works... they tell me not to be depressed or whatever but when i actually have a dream they like to ruin it for me... what kinda of a friend is that? no wonder i'm so screwed up if everyone i care about likes to tell me i'm a failure or i'l never amount to anything (as they have been doing for the past 18 years!) how am i suppsoed to think any differently? so ok so first its writing.. if i find a release who is that hurting... if i have a dream that i want to follow who is it hurting?? so why do people have to come to me and tell me that i'll never actually be able to do it... i mean i know it makes sense but when i write im not really lookin at the future.. im looking at the now but obviously id like it to continue to the future! so yeah gave up on that idea and kinda started thinking bout the 'normal' route of uni/postgrad/normal job... but i really dont think im cut out for uni i dont wanna be stuck in education for another 3 years only to be pushed into a job that i dont even want to do so now im saying i dont wanna go uni and everyone goes mad like 'oh you have to go to uni ul get a better job/ get more money and if you dont ur alevels will be a waste' so i say il quit a levels if im wasting them anyway... and they still go crazy! its MY future! let me do what I want to do with it... i'm more than cabable of making my own mistakes i dont need other people to help me fail... i'm doing a great job by myself according to my mum! i'll probably still get my a levels... theres only another 3 months to survive.. its hard but doable.. and theres only 19 days til easter. and even still.. if i dont go to uni now is it really the end of the world? i mean as long as i get these a levels il always have something to fall back on.. like i can do a degree anytime or do some other sort of college course once i decide what i actually want to do or if all these people do actually turn out to be right and i do fail i can cross that bridge when i come to it! but who says i will fail.. i hate it friends are supposed to be supportive and right now i think i only have 1 friend whos truly supportive and actually trying to help me rather than leave me or screw me up even more.. (could be 2 but im not really too sure about one of them right now) so i gave up on the writing dream thinking i could never do it however hard i try (and i was willing to put in all the effort it takes!) so then i kinda turned my sights to singing/songwriting coz it still has the writing and the idea of meeting loadsa people/being on the road/recording/writing/being on stage/having fans/maybe actually being able to help other people from my own experiences.... well it sounds pretty damn good to me! only problem is... i don't have the talent! and i know there are plenty of people in the industry who are worse than me.. but they at least have confidence of contacts to help them and make up for what they lack.. i have nothing! and sitting around waiting isnt gonna make anything happen and i just dont have the money to move to america... or even just away from here. i really cant stand it... today i didnt go to school (again) but i wrote a coupla songs and read over some of the ones id actually done before and i was all happy and hyper (like the old me... that i actually miss but no one else even seems to notice) and then my mum gets home and reminds me about everything and how im always wrong and blah blah blah! and people seem to think that my sisters would support me... well one is in australia.. and the other one... well when i told her about my dreams she literally laughed in my face! she obviously doesnt think im serious... or just thinks il never do it but then when she asked me something relating to my honest dream i ended up lying to her and just saying no coz i didnt wanna have to be reminded yet again that im just wasting my time.. and she was already being patronising and thinking im pathetic for wanting it! they dont even know i write.. not because i'm ashamed but because to my mum thats 'intellectual' and as my sister told me i'm a hamburger and will never be a steak so theres no point in trying!
anyway i'm sick of crying and my eyes are sore.

hey i'm so bored... i hate weekends i never do anything... i have no life!

i was in sheffield on thurs and fri... bunked off school.. oh well its not like i learn anything anyway! i really hate it, im seriously considering dropping out! but i get my first lot of A2 results on thursday (officially) probably failed but ive actually stopped caring!

i still cant believe im 18 next week ha! wow.. i'm an adult! everyones making a fuss about it and i really dont see why.. its just another day just like any other!

anyway yeah this post has absolutely no purpose whatsoever so im not gonna bother rambling on anymore... no one reads it anyway so...

Hear me
Hear me

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
Can you hear me?
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me

heya!
ooh first things first... Kelly Clarkson pre-sale tickets are released today... and are officially on sale 2mw!!! wooo im sooo going! im booking 2mw lol first thing probably! i dont get it though.. all of the venues are £22.50.. except for london which is £23.50... and i know its only £1 more but its the principle! ahh well its coz we're cooler!

today was better than yesterday... well ok the morning was kinda shitty i was alone in all my frees and all i had to do was sit there and think about my stuff... plus im getting a cold so i was feeling even worse! but then at lunch it was really quiet coz all the art people went to this... thingy.... but Andrea asked me something about English and i know it sounds really pathetic and losery but we were talking about it for about an hour.. which kinda cheered me up.. and then psychology was really fun... my teacher was in an unusally good mood and kept making jokes we were all giggling the whole lesson... for no reason. oh and he was telling us this thing...

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

And apparently that is a valid sentence!!! lol coz well basically its because the latin name for a Buffalo is Buffalo buffalo... and the place in America: Buffalo.... and apparently the word buffalo was used to mean bully... so the sentence means... the Buffalo from buffalo was a bully and he bullyed another Buffalo from Buffalo... who was also a bully!!! all by just repeating the word 'Buffalo' 9 times (although u have to use capitals in the right places) lol confusing i know i was like the only person in my class who actually understood it!!! everyone was pissing themselves though.

so yeah.. better day than yesterday.. even though i really wanted to talk to ppl... 1 of them wasnt there and people were around the rest of the time.. oh well it can wait til 2mw.

oh yeah btw the Elizabethtown plans fell through (as usual!!!) :'( its a stupid thing to get upset about but it just happens to me too often... build my hopes up only to have someone break them... story of my life! and i wont be able to go on saturday coz my sis is making me clean the house coz we're having people over on sunday :(

oh damn i just realised i ordered the wrong book from amazon grr... oh well il just have to do another order wont i... too many books!

i dont really know why im on here... but im really bored and ive already finished checking the websites i usually go on but i got bored of them.
So im just sitting here, just got back from school and after wandering round near school for ages doing nothing! oooh but i ran into an old friend of mine who used to go to my school who ive seen a couple of times recently but it didnt seem like she wanted to talk so i just let her go. I want to rant but i dont really know who will read this (if anyone!) its just so arrgh right now, ive tried telling people about it but it doesnt really work so i cant really talk to anyone anymore (except Emma...) right now everyday is just kinda becoming like a big blur! its so weird like i dont have a clue whats going on around me from one minute to the next and days and weeks kind of just start all molding together... and whenever i feel like i can talk to someone or want to there are always other people around, or if we go somewhere private to talk my other friends (well one in particular) gets really suspiscious and thinks we're talking about her so keeps coming to check on us!

but im going to see Elizabeth town on Friday with Angela and Shrina... who i havent seen for a while so it should be fun... although angela is insisting we get there like an hour early in case there are huge queues for the film and it gets packed... which considering the film... i somehow doubt it! but yeah she loves Orlando Bloom so we always get dragged along to his films... not that im complaining (this time) i actually kinda wanna see it and at least it gets me out of the house!!! ok that makes me sound like a lifeless loser but oh well... sadly its true... i dont have a life anymore! but staying in all the time is driving me completly crazy!!! (literally) and leading me to ... lets just say.... less... productive activities... and even after me begging ppl to come out with me they refuse... knowing whats going on...must just be something wrong with me :(

arrrrgh life so sucks right now and ok i probably sound just like any other melodramatic teenager i just dont know how to get out of it and no one seems to be willing or able to help and im no good at talking about stuff.. after years of keeping it all bottled up (and so having years worth of emotions)its kinda hard to let go.. it sounds weird but i dont know how to talk about things i want to.. but if i try it seems like ppl arent listening, or theyve got other things on their mind or they think im finished so just change the conversation and i kind of just go with it... coz if people are getting bored of me i cant exactly go 'no back to me!' or at least without sounding really self-centred which im not. it just annoys me coz im still there for them and try to give them the best advice i can but they cant do it back.

arrgh i can hear my sister upstairs.. it sounds like shes jumping or something but its really pissing me off.... i dont even wanna know what shes doing!!!!!!!

see... im not even talking properly right now! i think my family and other friends are starting to notice.
ok well im not making any sense and this is pretty much just for me and any friends i do have probably wont bother reading this and i guess it helps me to vent. oh well im going.

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to know hwo you will commit suicide, take a look at your second highest percentage on the bar graphs. </td> Suicide 100% Disappear 93% Posion 67% Suffocated 67% Stabbed 60% Bomb 53% Natural Causes 47% Accident 33% Disease 27% Gunshot 27% Cut Throat 27% Eaten 0% Drowning 0% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

EEK! :S but meh why the hell does it encourage you???????!?!?!?!!?!?!

You scored as Peter Pan. Your alter ego is Peter Pan. You are a child at heart. Anything you believe is possible, and you never want to grow up. </td> Peter Pan 88% The Beast 81% Goofy 75% Cruella De Ville 75% Sleeping Beauty 50% Cinderella 50% Pinocchio 44% Ariel 31% Donald Duck 19% Snow White 13% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

haha wheres tink?

You scored as Emo Kid. You listen to emo. 'Nuff said. You know how to dress. You usually feel as if nobody understands you. </td> Emo Kid 53% Geek/Nerd 47% "Ghetto" 40% Loner 40% Hot 33% Goth 27% Stoner 27% Punk 13% Jock 0% Prep 0% What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To? created with QuizFarm.com

arrgh I hate emo….. as a fashion statement…. and I don’t listen to emo music really…. Or dress like 1… this thing just didn’t like me!

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Philosopher. Where You Lived: China. How You Died: Dysentery.

Whats Dysentery? Like the genius idea tho lol :p

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct!

Wooo hooo!!! theres a surprise im crap at maths!!!!!!!!!!

im only doing this coz ppl are making me!

Write 20 things about yourself. Then tag half as many people as it took in minutes for you to write these 20 things

1)I’m bored
2)I have some annoying friends who no matter how much I say I don’t want to talk about something they sit there guessing for the next hour
3)The thought of anyone touching their eyes or just close up eyes freak me out
4)I’m terrified of crossing the road (ie getting hit by a car) although I can’t wait to actually drive.
5)I’m txting Emma right now.
6)At the moment I’m addicted to white wine spritzers
7)I am a complete insomniac (by choice)
8)I am also a major procrastinator
9)I want to live in America… but Emma wont give me earplugs!
10)I’m trying to do this super quickly coz I don’t really know enough ppl to tag!
11)I just received an extremely confusing email from an ex (and yes I do realise that half of these points aren’t actually about me!)
12) I embarrassed myself horribly in front of my maths teacher when my mate was asking about sex and I replied extremely loudly ‘well how do u have a baby???’
13)I am convinced that leatherjackets look cool on anyone but leather trousers are just plain WRONG!!!!
14)I have seriously contemplated running away to blackpool (including looking up train times *blushes*)
15) I’m supposed to wear glasses but hardly ever do!
16)My proudest achievement to date is winning the prize for best costume at my mates fancy dress party (I dressed as a hippy lol)
17) I’ve wanted to be an author since the age of 5 when we had to do a writing project in school and I made a book called ‘the book that ate everyone’
18)My favourite food is potatoes!
19) I love the cute lil smilie pic things on my phone! Cuteness!
20)Atishoo (I have a cold and just sneezed… although its largely psychological!)

Haha im not gonna tell u how long that took oh well I only know a few ppl anyway! And I don’t know how to tag so…. Claire just do it!

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

Hehe not true, im the 3rd (and youngest) child!

Your Birthdate: March 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

Uh huh uh huh uh huh

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

These things scare me sometimes!!!

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

People see fun in your eyes! People are drawn to
you because of your fun-loving personality, and
if they aren't...then they should be! You are
probably a really cool person who just wants to
have a good time without having to worry about
anything. A downside may be that people find
you annoying, or they think that you aren't
mature enough to take care of things. But don't
worry about it. They're just party-poopers
anyway, right?


What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla


meh i give up now.... enough procrastination for one day!

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p.s. Assmunch!

woooooo i got my remark back and it went up from a C to a B yay!!! it went up by 23 marks!!!! stupid examiners must have been drunk when they marked it the first time! oh and it means i dont have to pay or resit... which is always good lol. its really funny everyones inspired by me to go and get theirs remarked too lol its fun oh and in english i told my teacher about it and my other teacher was in the room so she told her but as there are only like 12 ppl in my class, they all heard and started clapping it was soo funny and they were all asking me questions and generally being nice lol.

im ill :( i dont know whether i caught it from jenni or claire... so it looks like im gonna have to kill them both muahahaha.

head hurts too much to ramble anymore
byeee
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hey
im just updating here coz im bored and i know i havent written anything here in agggeeesss. so.. for anyone who doesnt know i got my AS results.. i did pretty well, A in psychology, B in sociology B in business studies (WTF?????) and C in English! i was kinda disappointed with the english one but i spoke to my teacher today and she said i should have done better in one of the papers so im gonna get it remarked.. although its apparently gonna cost £35! but she was saying sometimes they get like secretaries or students marking papers when they know nothing about what theyre doing... dodgy! well i hope they made a mistake... even if they only missed 6 marks itl bring me up to a B so at least thats something. and if it still comes back the same then im just gonna resit (which will cost another £20 grr)

my timetable so rocks this year!!! ive only got 2 lessons most days! hehe fun! although its really annoying coz now theyre saying we have to come into school for morning and afternoon registration which really sucks... especially as there are loads of days when i dont have a first or last lesson but i still have to go into school to just sit in the common room grrr good thing though ive got loads more frees with claire, angela and riddhi hehe so il get to talk to them loads.. and shelly's got the same timetable as me so we have all the same lessons and frees... im gonna be sick of her by the end of the year :p tee hee and she was laughing today when my teacher said my essay was brilliant... she so deserves a slap! (kidding i love her really... besides ... what do u care u probably dont even know her... unless ur shelly in which case :D)

guys are confusing... sorry... thought it was worth a mention

oh and claire's obssessed with my new trainers! she sits behind me in psychology and was staring at them the whole lesson! no wonder she doesnt get any work done! For the billionth time claire, NO, they do not have speakers in them, nor do they make me jump really high and bounce along!

anyway, now that thats out... im gonna get going... looking for some free ringtones for my new phone lol

oh, and happy birthday to the #1 mj lover!

byeeees
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lol ive been doing these blog things for hours!!

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart. Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people. You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile. You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker. You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side. Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

fuck how accurate!!!

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

god I hope that’s NOT true lol

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 40%

Pride: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Envy: 20%

Greed: 20%

Lust: 20%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 26%

You'll die from food poisoning - and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs.

LMAO

Your Birthdate: March 18

Your birthday on the 18th day of the month suggests than you are one who can work well with a group, but still remain someone who needs to maintain individual identity. There is a humanistic or philanthropic approach to business circumstances in which you find yourself. You may have good executive abilities, as you are very much the organizer and administrator. You are broad-minded, tolerant and generous; a compassionate person that can inspire others with imaginative ideas. Some of your feelings may be expressed, but even more of them are apt to be repressed. There is a lot of drama in your personality and in the way you express yourself to others. Oddly enough, you don't expect as much in return as you give.

wow that’s true too!

LISA
L	is for	Luxurious
I	is for	Ideal
S	is for	Strong
A	is for	Artistic

heehe

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Emma is your soulmate.

You truly love Rabiah.

You consider Usha your true friend.

You know that Claire is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Angela for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Andrea is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Shelly is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Sabirah is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Sabirah changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Riddhi is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Riddhi has a hidden internet romance.

ok that’s weird!

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious. You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep. Overall, you are very content in your life. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

veerrrrryyy iintereessttinng

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group... You're always up for a good time or conversation And you stick with your friends no matter what You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

hehe

Riddhi's got a toy boy!
Kathryn's got the lergies!
Usha's got the giggles!
Angie's got the flanghies!
Sabirah's got the quizzies!

haha immaturity is fun!

Heeheee hehehehe I SO had to do this! Emma will understand why!!!

except i wanna change my hideous secret weapon to human cannonball LMAO!!! and how right they are with emma yet im not so sure about claire being the chef..... she cant cook to save her life!

stole this from Emma tee hee

1. Post the names of 20 musicians.
2. See who can guess which is your favourite song by each.
3. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song.

1. Blue
2. Queen
3. Evanescence- My Immortal- guessed by Princessplank
4. Avril Lavigne- Naked, Guessed by Claire470
5. Maroon 5-Must Get Out- Guessed by Princessplank
6. McFly- All About You- Guessed by princessplank
7. Natasha Bedingfield-Wild Horses- Guessed by princessplank
8. Usher
9. Jay Sean-Come With Me- guessed by princessplank
10. Aaliyah
11. Britney Spears
12. Michelle Branch
13. Sugababes-too lost in you guessed by princessplank
14. Lemar
15. Ashanti
16. Raghav
17. Hilary Duff
18. Christina Aguilera
19. LeAnn Rimmes
20. Eminem

you may not be able to get some of them coz alot are album tracks so i may accept my sencond faves lol

i wonder who will get this?

aubergines, mangoey juices, 'give him a lemon, hes sweet enough already and needs balancing out', paddle, 'london doesnt have a tower, we do!', insomniacs anonomous, plank, World Domination, just one cornetto, my crew, pier, ice cream, ......

'you're just jealous 'cause ur not thick!', Angels of destruction, dancing cigarette and bike riding cigarette, EW....

'you were probably too busy eating cake'...*10 minutes later* 'was it chocolate?', 'is there a man coming out of the wall?' 'nooo lissy/nemo noooo' "but there are eggs in milk?" "u mean a floor layer isnt what goes between the carpet and the floor?" maths and science, geraldine crayon III, I want to break Frreee, erialc and asil, gary, kenya, .....

*kill bill whistling tune*, *funny bird noise from neighbours*, diddle,prosssperroo, yorrick, "thud","empty","hollow", simonizing, thou dost liest, malignant thing!,7 dwarves, 7 deadly sins, 7 heavenly virtues, 7 wonders of the ancient world, 4 horsemen of the apocolypse, hello kitty, Germany,....

gimmee yop me mama, singing cherry, i want some crusha, snelly chat, french/german, hair dye and explosives in filing cabinet/plotting to kill teacher, 'but shes my friend', i'm so dizzy, robot dance, samara and u know who, eden, Pissy Gayward...

huuuuuuuhh, Dr. Pepper, German,...

searching for 'contacts', muff, silly gop, sally/gene....

ooh thats a funny number!!!, shandified bon bons, flying monkeys, business studies, no no no no no, red pen!, 'very disappointing B', work experience....

wow i havent updated in forever!

well anyway, just wishing a happy easter to all hehe soon we will probably all be very happy from all the chocolate (even though i didnt get any :( i took the money instead muahaha)

sorry im just being random as always! oh yeah, that reminds me...

How random are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

see that proves im random lol!

my eye hurts... stupid eye issues.

oh yeah hahaha theres no tower in london!!!!
finally reached new levels of randomness when you can spend 8 hours talking about a heron and funky toe socks! well, after all, one day they will rule the world along side us!

ok no more red bull for me (i havent actually had any that was just a private joke)

im gonna go now and do some boring work (roughly translated to: im gona spend another hour on the computer then decide that its too late to work and 'sleep' (sleep of course means watch mean girls!)

ok im gone now... look

gone!

oh wait i forgot to do my kisses
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byeeees

see, really am gone!